To my dearest daughter, Hope.
Hello sweetheart. I hope you are well… up in heaven looking down on me. You
were six weeks old when daddy and I lost you. It was then that I felt loss for the first
time. Some doctors will say it was a “spontaneous abortion”… but I never wanted to
abort you, I wanted to love you. Some doctors will call it a miscarriage… but I did not
do anything wrong that you should not be able to be “carried” inside of me. I prefer to
think of it as God wanted to have you next to Him for your entire existence. God knows
that He can give you the life that daddy and I never could. But that will never mean that
I love you less.
I think about you constantly throughout the day. I always wonder what you
would have been like. What would your favorite color have been? Would you have
preferred that I braid your hair in the morning or put it in a ponytail? What would your
laugh have sounded like? It hurts even more as your due date approaches. I should be
meeting you in less than 2 months… but now I have to wait the rest of my life to meet
you in heaven. I miss you.
No matter how small you physically were, you were a huge part of my life, and
when I lost you… my world seem to shatter to pieces. Never doubt the love that I have
for you. I miss you more and more everyday. I want you to know that I love you, and
that you will always be my daughter. Please pray for daddy and I and know that I look
forward to the day when I will hold you close in my arms and kiss your sweet face.
I will see you one day my sweet child,