Dear Hope

To my dearest daughter, Hope.

Hello sweetheart. I hope you are well… up in heaven looking down on me. You

were six weeks old when daddy and I lost you. It was then that I felt loss for the first

time. Some doctors will say it was a “spontaneous abortion”… but I never wanted to

abort you, I wanted to love you. Some doctors will call it a miscarriage… but I did not

do anything wrong that you should not be able to be “carried” inside of me. I prefer to

think of it as God wanted to have you next to Him for your entire existence. God knows

that He can give you the life that daddy and I never could. But that will never mean that

I love you less.

I think about you constantly throughout the day. I always wonder what you

would have been like. What would your favorite color have been? Would you have

preferred that I braid your hair in the morning or put it in a ponytail? What would your

laugh have sounded like? It hurts even more as your due date approaches. I should be

meeting you in less than 2 months… but now I have to wait the rest of my life to meet

you in heaven. I miss you.

No matter how small you physically were, you were a huge part of my life, and

when I lost you… my world seem to shatter to pieces. Never doubt the love that I have

for you. I miss you more and more everyday. I want you to know that I love you, and

that you will always be my daughter. Please pray for daddy and I and know that I look

forward to the day when I will hold you close in my arms and kiss your sweet face.

I will see you one day my sweet child,

Mommy

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