I’ve Been Living All Wrong

My life has been a bit of a whirlwind this past year.

New identities
New life
New school
New job
New friends
New relationships
New perspectives
Lost relationships
Lost identities
Lost sleep

I also suffer from perfectionism…so I overthink many things, I concern myself with the past, and definitely obsess over the future. It’s really an unhealthy frame of mind to be living in. I’m finally realizing this.

Thanks to my daughter’s amazing ability to teach me about life and nice getaway I got a week ago (see “Burnt Out”) I know how I want to live.

I just want to live each day.

I want to to find joy in the simple. The mundane. The everyday. The grind. The ordinary.

My whole life I’ve always worked towards the future. This wasn’t bad…but it became bad when I forgot to live in the present. I didn’t enjoy my time. I took too many classes so I could graduate early. I stressed myself out by overcommitting to too many clubs/groups/jobs/etc. I never took a break. Now, here I am…almost to my “future” I have been working for and I’m realizing I’ve been living all wrong. Because…unfortunately, the future never comes and you can never really catch it.

My daughter is teaching me how to enjoy the present.

Instead of trying to finish my run in a certain time, she makes me stop to smell the flowers.

Instead of finishing a fancy dinner, she wants to eat cheese and crackers.

Instead of getting all the laundry done, she wants to “help” and jump in the piles of clothes.

Instead of checking pointless emails, she wants to snuggle.

I’ll tell you what…she has life figured out.

She is content with living her days one day at a time. She forgets the past in a matter of seconds and could care less about tomorrow.

Obviously it’s a little more complicated than living like that because the future does matter and the past does affect us…but at the root, she’s got it right.

So, normally around this time of the month a set a whole list of goals for the month. This time it’s going to look a little different.

I’m going to use my daughter as my model.

My goals are:

Play more music
Be outside as much as possible
Go to bed early!
Dance and sing
Work Out
Cry and then get over it
Have more fun
Do things on a whim

So there you have it…a work in progress


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