Being Pregnant out of Wedlock is NOT a Sin!

This is a topic I can get pretty fired up about, so I promise I’m going to do my best to tame the passion.

But…a common issue I face in the pro-life movement is attacking young women who are pregnant out of wedlock.  People (not all people of course, but several) tend to take on this “holier than thou” approach with these women.

“They should have used birth control”

“They should have known better”

“Supporting unwed pregnant women means I support other women getting pregnant out of wedlock”

The fact that many of these notions above are not the case, is one thing…but the thing the irks me the most is when…

The pregnant unwed women are condemned more than the unwed women having premarital sex….and often it’s the women having premarital sex (and not pregnant) snickering at the ones that did get pregnant.  HELLO, YOU BOTH WERE DOING THE SAME THING!!

So, I find it fascinating that a group of people (and this is primarily in Christian culture that I’m speaking about) can agree that premarital sex is wrong, can somehow turn their head to those who are having premarital sex and never get pregnant, and then put ALL the attention on those that have premarital sex and get pregnant.

As if the pregnant ones were the only ones that ended up sinning.

And then the pregnant ones have to suffer from the stigma, and the embarrassment, and the shame.

And then people get upset when teen pregnancy is at its highest…when that is obviously a direct connection with teen premarital sex being at its highest.

Let’s talk about premarital sex and how that is becoming a problem….because most (Christians) can agree that premarital sex is wrong and is something we need to be talking about.

It’s so unfortunate the conversation has turned to…premarital sex is only wrong if you end up getting pregnant from it.

Yes, pregnancy results from sex. But pregnancy can result from both kinds of sex (meaning marital sex, OR premarital sex).

So, since women can become pregnant from various types of sex, shouldn’t it be the type of sex that determines the sin? Not the pregnancy?

I guess that leads me to believe that actually BEING pregnant is in no way sinful.  The fact that a woman can be pregnant when married or when unmarried is pretty irrelevant.

Let’s take a look at the definition of “sin” according to the Catechism of the Catholic Church

Sin is an offense against reason, truth, and right conscience; it is failure in genuine love for God and neighbor caused by a perverse attachment to certain goods. It wounds the nature of man and injures human solidarity. It has been defined as “an utterance, a deed, or a desire contrary to the eternal law.” -1849

So…pregnancy does not seem to be an offense against reason, truth, or right conscience, or really anything else in the definition.  Let’s look at a further explanation on sin…

“Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent” -CCC 1857

The main thing here is that…how can someone give consent for pregnancy when they actually have no control over becoming pregnant.  Pregnancy is determined by SEVERAL biological factors AND the will of God.  I have come to this conclusion by 1) knowing women who never “consented” to becoming pregnant yet they did due to unplanned pregnancy or rape, and 2) knowing women who technically “consented” to becoming pregnant but could not due to infertility or other problems.

If, somehow, pregnancy was a sin…the mindset of someone getting pregnant would have to be this in order to qualify for a sin, “I fully know getting pregnant is wrong, but I am determined to get pregnant anyways”

I have never in my entire life heard such a statement. (I have however, for most other sins like lying, premarital sex, stealing, etc)

So, basically….I am pretty confident in saying pregnancy (even out of wedlock) is NOT a sin!

And this is because I believe that premarital sex is the sin in this equation…and that is where the focus should lie.  And I’m not saying we should focus on premarital sex being a sin by condemning anyone who does it like we do to single pregnant women…but by educating people on love, dignity, respect, and self control….and how the sexual act is actually SUPPOSED to be life giving and bring new life. And let’s also talk about how to practically achieve abstinence before marriage and live a pure lifestyle.

I will be the first to admit that my acts of premarital sex were WRONG, and I will never deny that about my behavior.

But, I will also refuse to say that my pregnancy was sinful or that my daughter was somehow connected to a sin…because that is impossible based on the definition of sin.

All this to say, there is NOT a problem with premarital pregnancy…

But there is a problem with premarital sex. Period.

See similar posts on this topic:

Mary Had an Unplanned Pregnancy Too…

I’m that girl who got pregnant

Prodigal Daughter and Pregnant

Did You Hear Who Got Pregnant?

So You Think You’re Pro-Life?

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27 thoughts on “Being Pregnant out of Wedlock is NOT a Sin!

  1. Completely agree! My own sister had a baby out of wedlock(she’s still with the guy though) and it’s completely evident her baby is NOT a sin! He seriuosly the best gift we could’ve received. I know when my sister was pregnant there was some controversy but as soon as he was born that all went away. Kinda off topic but similar is the fact that there is a huge disconnect with sex and pregnancy. It’s like yeah all these people have sex but then are sooo shocked when people get pregnant from it. It’s really quite depressing as we’ll to see teenage girls waiting, praying for their period to come. It’s true that premarital sex in the view of society is not a sin but pregnancy is. There has to be a shift in this mind set. Anyways great blog posts. It super awesome that you’ve been able to post frequently in the past couple of days!:)

  2. I love this. I think after my daughter was born I had a hard time figuring out how something so wonderful and perfect was born from something that was sinful. This really puts it into perspective. Thanks!

  3. There is no Hebrew or Greek word used in the Bible that precisely refers to sex before marriage. The Bible undeniably condemns adultery and sexual immorality, but is sex before marriage considered sexually immoral? According to 1 Corinthians 7:2, “yes” is the clear answer: “But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.” In this verse, Paul states that marriage is the “cure” for sexual immorality. First Corinthians 7:2 is essentially saying that, because people cannot control themselves and so many are having immoral sex outside of marriage, people should get married. Then they can fulfill their passions in a moral way.

    Since 1 Corinthians 7:2 clearly includes sex before marriage in the definition of sexual immorality, all of the Bible verses that condemn sexual immorality as being sinful also condemn sex before marriage as sinful. Sex before marriage is included in the biblical definition of sexual immorality. There are numerous Scriptures that declare sex before marriage to be a sin (Acts 15:20; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13, 18; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7). The Bible promotes complete abstinence before marriage. Sex between a husband and his wife is the only form of sexual relations of which God approves (Hebrews 13:4).

      1. Uhhhh pregnancy is not a sin…right being pregnant before marriage by way of being sexual immoral is..You seem lost on this
        Here…..driving a car is not a sin….driving while drunk killing or maiming someone is..you got it.
        Sex b4 marriage is being sexually immoral this is a sin.

  4. I am glad you spoke the truth In that people( namely christians) tend to look down on women who become pregnant whilst in church. while seeming to ignore the fact that these pregnant women are like the ones who got caught but many women In the church and men are having premarital sex. Yes sex before marriage is sin but pregnancy Is not. Repentance takes away the sin but not the consequence of our actions. Repenting will not make the pregnancy go away. So we have to face this pregnancy wearing a crown that no one sees with the carnal eye. Is there not glory in the fact that these pregnant out of we’d lock women keep their babies and choose to face shame and ridicule opposed to having an abortion. In my situation i was tempted to have an abortion… but i escaped that sinful and selfish desire . Does nit the word of God say when we overcome temptation that we are given crowns? So we fall in an area and that fall affords us the opportunity to be glorified with a glory that is not our own but the glory of God…what Is done In the Dark will indeed come to light and the last time I checked the light Is where God Is. As matter if fact he is the light. Amen

  5. I had my son out-of-wedlock. The people in my church treated me so badly. I thought God hated me. The way they treated me didn’t turn me to God, it pushed me further away because I felt like I had done the unforgivable. I know better now. I’m comfortable with my relationship with God but I’ll never be part of the Christian church again. Those people caused me way too much pain during a time when I needed their prayers the most. Its refreshing to know that there are people of faith out there who have a clear understanding of scripture and aren’t afraid to speak out. Thank you. I wish I had read something like this 9 years ago. Would have possibly saved me a lot of heartache and money from expensive psychotherapy.

    1. I am so sorry that you were treated so badly. My daughter is pregnant, she is 21 weeks. She was engaged in Dec. , became pregnant in Aug. and the baby (a girl) is due in April. My daughter married in November and we gave her a wedding also. No one knew she was 20 weeks at the time. She has a really hard time medically for 14 yrs. We thought she would never conceive but she DID! We are a very Christian family and her father is a deacon. I never would throw her out, she is human, and we all sin. Jesus died on the cross for my sins, over 2000 yrs ago. He died and I am forgive for past, present , and future sins. I’m not given a license to go do anything I desire though but I do meds up..not reading my Bible, not praying, etc.. Yes, she sinned. We asked her and her fiancée to sit with a pastor and and to work on their forgiveness. I forgive. My grand child is not a sin. She is miracle and I thank God for this baby, if ever my child needed me, it is now. I want forgiveness from God, and others. I told her to hold her head high. Today, my church family was told of her pregnancy, most were loving and kind. Only a few did not even speak to me..why? I think because they do not love me as they should. Each one of us makes up the chit and we should not judge. We should let God do that and we should show and do what Jesus would do…love those that need it the most. I pray for you and your child, may God bless you and may you find a church who shows love and forgiveness .

  6. I thank God for this teaching is very powerful. I’ve been concieved for seven years but last year in august i lost my vaginity throught enger and i repent to God and purify to my apostles tell them what i have done and they pray with me to ask forgiveness from God but things change when i found out that im pregnant, i’ve been shouted and they told the church that im pregnant and all of them look down on me nd i only left with my biological family some they pretend like they love me so its very hard for me to go to church. I feel like they took my son as sin or curse but no one creat a child only God . Now i you all give me power to worship my God no matter what he love and its not yet over until he declare. Thank so much for your encouragement may God bless u all.

  7. Being a Christian means being a follower of Jesus Christ and shaming women who conceive outside of marriage is not something Jesus Christ call his followers to do, ever. Scripture would bring a debating “Christian” who says otherwise to their knees. If such a group of people are doing such things, what makes you think they are Christians? Look at how Jesus responded to Marry M. Use that as your navigation tool in discerning who is a real Christian. Secondly, where does scripture ever, under any circumstance, call pregnancy a sin?

    Jeremiah 1:5 NIV
    [5] “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. ”

    God plays a very personal part in EVERY pregnancy.

    Psalm 139:13-15 NIV
    [13] For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. [14] I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. [15] My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

    Any person who says otherwise is biblically illiterate and will be answering to God.

    God calls us to abstain from things that cause His children harm. He says “don’t do this”, the same way a parent instructs a child not to get in the car with strangers! Why? Obviously because He cares about you and your life! Your dad loves you! I am a Christian woman who as a teen had my first child outside wedlock and four years later a son with the same man. My pregnancies were a blessing, but I chose circumstances that were not encouraged by God, the end result, hardship for myself and children beyond measure. Years and years of hardship. Working, being a single mom and barely keeping our heads above water.

    Children deserve the love, nurturing and protection of a complete family, a mother and a father. Just get online and google statistics of children from a broken family vs children from a intact one. Is that what God wants for His children? Thankfully, God is love.

    1 John 4:8 NIV
    [8] Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

    Know God, our father IS LOVE, what does this verse say about Him? Substitute the word love for God.

    1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV
    [4] Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. [5] It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. [6] Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. [7] It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

    The problem is not Christianity, the problem is biblical illiteracy, and false followers of Christ. Read Genesis and about Tamar, starting at Genesis 38, who Christ descended from. People need to spend less time joining cults and spend more time in bible study classes. Stop labeling Christians because it seems to me like the majority of you haven’t met one. Join a bible study class and meet the real living God of Israel. Yahweh.

    Then on the next post, everyone here will have the knowledge to call those people impersonators or something more suiting to their kind, rather than labeling them as Christians and giving a bad name to the One we real Christians follow, the God that died on the cross for you personally, regardless of your beliefs. It’s just as foul to label those religious groups Christians as it is to call pregnancy a sin. There are real churches with real Christians. Christians give more service, aid, and financial support to single moms and teen moms than any other organizations period.

    Maddy

    1. I think you misunderstood my post, we are in agreement. Many women feel shamed for their pregnancies if they are out of wedlock among Christians. I’m simply saying that is not a Christian way to react, just as you have stated. All people are broken and can react poorly to situations, I’m simply acknowledging that Christians don’t react well to this topic and can do better. I would never condemn Christianity as I think Christianity is the truth and the life. And I know pregnancy is not a sin… That is what the post is about

  8. “So, I find it fascinating that a group of people (and this is primarily in Christian culture that I’m speaking about) can agree that premarital sex is wrong, can somehow turn their head to those who are having premarital sex and never get pregnant, and then put ALL the attention on those that have premarital sex and get pregnant.”

    Although we can agree that biblically, pregnancy, under all circumstances is not sinful, we do not agree on what a Christian and/or Christian culture is. Any person can claim to represent anyone or anything at any given moment, but that does not make them true representatives, therefore they should not be labeled as such. I find it offensive to be categorically lumped in with ideologies that are completely unbiblical. It would be like saying the Denver Broncos and the Dallas Stars are the same team. Not only are they not the same sport, one being football and the other hockey, they also repress different states. It’s incomparable.
    My position is this; Christians do not demand perfect human morality from anyone and stipulate judgements. The teaching of Jesus and His apostles never claim our ability as humans to live in perfection or require it. Quite the opposite actually;

    1 John 1:8-10 NIV
    [8] If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. [9] If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. [10] If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.

    Chris·ti·an·i·ty
    ˌkrisCHēˈanədē/
    noun
    noun: Christianity
    the religion based on the person and teachings of Jesus of Nazareth, or its beliefs and practices.
    Christian quality or character.
    “his Christianity sustained him”

    If Christianity is based off the teachings of Jesus, they how can the people you post about be considered Christians or part of Christian culture.
    “As if the pregnant ones were the only ones that ended up sinning.

    And then the pregnant ones have to suffer from the stigma, and the embarrassment, and the shame.”

    John 13:34-35 NIV

    [34] “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. [35] By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

    The group of people you describe, do not represent the God of the bible, do not meet the qualifications of Christians, who once again are defined as followers of the teachings of Jesus Christ and his apostles.

    If you have a problem with a group of people who signify something, call them what they are, but you cannot call the people that you describe in your post Christians. They do not meet the basic requirements. People are lost to Jesus because of counterfeit Christians and I want you’re readers to understand that behavior is not Christian and is unacceptable to real Christians.

    I ask you kindly, in the future to call them anything you like, but do not call them Christians. I just wanted all the women who have been mistreated to know, you are loved by Christ and real Christians. Read the bible!! Don’t give up on God because of counterfeit Christians, Jesus does not recognize them.

    Matthew 7:21-23 NIV

    [21] “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. [22] Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ [23] Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’

    Maddy

    1. Again we are on the same page. If you read other comments, many women have been hurt by “Christians” because even many Christians striving to be the type of “real” Christian you described can slip up and be judgmental. This is simply a call to all Christians to examine their perceptions of unwed pregnant women and take a loving approach as you have described.

  9. Please keep this article outside church
    Let’s not tell our young generation that it’s okay to get pregnant before marriage as Jesus already went to cross
    After all it was sex before as you said already but glorifying pregnancy out of wedlock is clear spitting in Jesus sacrifice
    But what can I say when word of God said everything it will be days of Noah sexual promiscuity will be glorified in Christian circle
    No thanks for the post

  10. This is THE PROBLEM with north american churches ; those pastors want to keep people in the church ($$$) .
    So the biblical truth is twisted in order to meet everyday’s needs.
    Is it a sin to have premarital sex ? yes
    Is it a sin to have a baby out of wedlock ? yes

    But we have free will , hence we CAN have sex and eventually have a baby without being married .

    I myself have regular sex with my wife since we started dating and we had our son before getting married ( we married at the city hall in front of the mayor , not the church ) .

    That’s the point ; nobody have the right to judge and condemn anyone’s actions about this topic .
    Just be consistent and don’t have fun of God .
    If you’re unable to follow 100% God’s rules that’s ok , it’s the free will that He gave to us .
    You may be a believer but don’t call yourself a Christian .
    Don’t go to church and most important don’t go to a corrupted church !
    This is what I do and I’m not willing to change this balance I’ve found .
    Am I going to Hell ? Probably . But I’m an adult and I’m ready to face the consequences of my actions .

    God bless you all .

  11. Dear Raquel , I respect your point of view but it seems like you don’t remember those parts in the Bible when :
    The Great Flood ; God drowned everyone but Noah’s Family . Including all babies who were living at that time . He also killed all the unborn fetuses still in their mothers’ wombs.
    Because they were conceived in sin .

    God also sent the Angel of Death to kill all the firstborn in Egypt because those babies were born from parents who were living in sin .

    God can create life but He also can kill and create disasters as He clearly states in Isaiah 45:7

    After all He created us to His own image and characteristics and in fact He behaves and show traits just like we do .

    You can find all this in the Bible .
    Don’t rely to what the Pastor says or to what we recall being taught at Sunday school .
    Go to the source . Read the Bible .
    I do it , everyday.
    God bless you .

    1. All old testament stories, yes technically we are all born in sin because all come from a broken family line started by Adam and Eve’s first sin. Again the argument is not that premarital sex isn’t a sin, as I said, those actions ARE sinful. Actually bearing life is not in itself a sin. The act of being pregnant is not sinful. I have not seen in the Bible that carrying life is a sin. But I could be mistaken. If being pregnant was a sin, then abortion would be moral.

      1. in fact looking at the great flood from another perspective , that was also a mass abortion of all pregnant women living on earth at that time .
        even worse , that was carried forcefully without those women’s consent .
        as you can see abortion is not ALWAYS immoral .

      2. If an action is a Sin (premarital sex) then how can the result (the baby) be without sin ?

        In the Bible is also written that the Devil can make miracles and even heal people .
        Can you say that the healing itself is a good thing if it comes from the Devil ?

      3. God fortunately brings much beauty from brokenness and is the creator of all life. Also a sin is an action, not a person. A baby is a person. A person is not a sin

  12. just to clear out things .
    I’m a strong believer but i don’t believe God is all good.
    I’m very critic about His actions , just like I’m critic about my father’s action .
    That’s the way to go.
    God provided me with some IQ and I’m actually using it.
    He should happy with that .
    Just like me when my son challenges me in a clever way.

    1. Yet you seem a little defensive that my post challenges your interpretation of God and morality. In the end i still have no evidence that bearing life in itself is sinful, good did destroy life in certain circumstances but I don’t believe that means bearing all life is sinful. In fact Mary herself bore life out of wedlock. In the end i think there is little importance to this particular disagreement in perspectives, my end goal is to discourage the act of condemning young pregnant women

  13. hi everyone i had been married since 3 and half years ago, since then i am trying to conceive. my age is 34 years now, my hormonal reports including FSH,LH,estrogen and thyriod function tests are normal, my diagnostic laproscopy is also normal and my husbands semen analysis is also normal. my serum prolactin levels are normal, but i have got breast tenderness and secretion after ovulation upto my periods. i have underwent three cycles of IUI without any success. now i am worried what to do? please give me possible reasons for this delay and what should be the future course of action. how can i have a baby for my husband that was my question. so a friend introduce me to this native iya basira so i contacted her, after using her herbs she sent, to my believe i was tested pregnant, it was an amazing miracle. when i showed my husband the result i could see the joy in his eyes, thank iya basira once again for your help, may the lord continue to bless you for the fertility help you are giving we women in need, this is her email contact, for you guys that need her help, she is a wonderful mother. nativeiyabasira@yahoo.com

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