Prodigal Daughter and Pregnant

In light of this past weekend’s homily, I decided to write about something near and dear to my heart – The Prodigal Son.

I love this parable.  This little parable is like the story of my life.

Seriously.

When I was completely and utterly broken, single and pregnant, contemplating abortion, I finally decided to come home.  When I decided to come clean with my brokenness and my unplanned pregnancy, you better believe I thought I was going to be disowned and condemned.  I absolutely thought I would be the biggest embarrassment and disappointment to my family and friends.  And I really truly believed that was what I deserved.  Because it was.

There’s no way I deserved what happened to me. No way.

My family and friends showered me with love.  They never once batted an eye of judgment toward me. They didn’t just take me back, they showered me with gifts and assistance that I most definitely did not deserve.  I have to say it was one of the most humbling and healing moments in my life.

I remember crying the morning of my baby shower because I was so humbled at what was happening.  How could so many women be coming to my house to honor me?? I didn’t get it. It was completely surreal.  I can’t describe another moment when I felt Christ’s unconditional love so powerfully.

This is what it must have felt like to be the prodigal son.  When he came home, he didn’t even think he was worthy enough to be his father’s slave.  But, his father ran to him and showered him with love and gifts and threw him a huge party.

I love it.

This is the definition of grace.

Giving so much love to someone so undeserving.

This type of love is where true conversions and healing happens.

I only wish that everyone knew that this love was waiting for them when they come home.

Unfortunately…I’ve seen people treat those trying to return home very poorly.  Especially the single pregnant girl.

I’ve heard many people deny young, single, pregnant girls support because they think “it would encourage premarital sex and make it seem like they thought their situation was ok” or “it would make other girls think it’s ok to just get pregnant, and that they will be saved” or “it will encourage other girls to get pregnant out of wedlock”.

Ok, I’m sorry, but this is absurd.

How does offering genuine, unconditional love encourage sinful behavior?

I want to shout at these people: PREGNANCY IS NOT A SIN!!!

Just because premarital sex happens prior to an unplanned pregnancy does make the pregnancy a sin!

Being pregnant in itself is not sinful!  The premarital sex was…but that was a moment in the past! Being pregnant is NOT I repeat NOT a reason to be treated poorly.

She chose LIFE for heaven’s sake!

Isn’t that worth celebrating!!!???

You better believe that if we treat the single pregnant woman poorly we are encouraging every other single pregnant girl to consider abortion because otherwise she will think she won’t be loved.

Let me tell ya, fear of being unloved is the most distressing fear to experience.

I refuse to believe that showering someone “undeserving” with love is somehow “encouraging more sin”.

That is completely contrary to everything Jesus stood for and died for.

Real, authentic, raw, unconditional love has got to be the most impactful, powerful, life-saving, life-changing thing someone can offer.

I know.

I experienced this love…and that is why I had the conversion that I did.

That love is the reason my daughter is alive.

This is the love that will save the world.

I’m sure the prodigal son would agree with me.

 

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6 thoughts on “Prodigal Daughter and Pregnant

  1. I love this blog! I, too, many years ago, faced an unplanned pregnancy during my first year of college. This was back in the 70’s, when it was horrible to be an unwed mother. Fortunately, the father and I were engaged, but my mother made my life very difficult for the month before we got married. Of course, the minute our son was born, my Mom fell in love with him, and all was well. Still, it is a bad memory I carry with me. My story has an incredible ending! The pregnancy that was the embarrassment of my family delivered to the world a much loved and loving Catholic priest!

    1. When I told my parents I was pregnant I had been living on my ownand just moved back. My mother was so angry she said I said my friend slept around but who was the real whore , because I was the one who got pregnant she threw a phone book at me. She said other terrible things. I ended up leaving and staying with a friend she says she didn’t kick me out, but I felt like it was impossible to stay. After I had my child I confronted her a couple months later she said she felt what she said was appropriate. I wish I could distance myself from her mean and sly jabs and comments, but I need child care for my daughter while I finish nursing school.

  2. I KNEW I would be disowned, disinherited, forsaken, abandoned – when I moved to Colorado to live with Tom. He assured me his family would welcome me with open arms. Ha. God is amazing. To the end my family was loving and accepting of us – not our behavior, but our souls. I know it’s different from what you had to deal with – but it opened my eyes to the story of the Prodigal son as well. Thank you for sharing, Raquel.

  3. Hi Raquel, I stumbled upon your blog when I searched info how to survive as single mom. I have read all of your posts and I want to say thanks to you, your beautifully written posts had lifted me up. Let me introduce myself, I’m Milla, 23yo from Indonesia. I’m single and 4 months pregnant. I’m going to be Mom for the little girl inside my tummy. Even though I’m Muslim, I fully understand your close feeling with your God as I also feel it too. My family found out that I’m pregnant a week ago, I didn’t try to hide it from them. I planned to come off clean to them after my graduation ceremony next month n after I got a job, to make them less worried. The father of my baby already run away, went back to his hometown n cut the communication. As you may know that Indonesia is a big muslim country with bold eastern culture. Premarital sex is sin and having child out of wedlock is out of question. I have became a big embarrassment for my big family. My family has planned to take my baby later after I give birth n give her to my aunt who can’t have children. They are not going to let me be a single mom, since such thing is not common at all here. One thing for sure I won’t let that to happened. I love the baby that is growing inside me and I can’t imagine a future without her. I realize too that my family doesn’t mean to hurt me, I just have to give them time, prove to them that I can survive on my own and make them understand. I believe that God has plan by giving me this pregnancy. That is why your blog is really inspiring for me. You have proved that you can overcome the mistake you made and be a good mother for your little girl. A lot of girls out there can do it and so can I, no? I also wish to go to grad school later. I want to make my daughter proud of me. You know, when I found out about my pregnancy and look for info for help in internet, the first page I found in Indonesia result page is abortion pill advertisement. I also thought about abortion too, but I didn’t do anything in the end. It is just really sad to think there are many other girls like me here in Indonesia and they might not as lucky as I am. Even though I still don’t get my family support, I have education that really affect my way of thinking. I have circle of friends that want to support me as well so that I can check the health of my baby every month and get necessary knowledge about pregnancy. But how about those girls in the little village, with no access to education and no support facilities from government. Thus later I want to do thing like those counselings you do, to help girls who chose life, you are right that they should be help, not to be punished. Once again, thank you for writing this blog and keep writing, please. There might be a helpless girl in the other side of the world that will read it and get new spirit in her life 🙂

    p.s : your daughter is so adorable! I wish mine will be as cute as her too.

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