Ok…as a first year mom, your prayer life takes a bit of a dive.
Well, actually a major dive.
In my pre-baby days, I was able to go to daily mass, or pray a rosary, or both AND go to bible studies/women’s groups/read spiritual growth books on a weekly basis. It was great.
Now…it’s a near miracle if I can get to Sunday mass on time and stay half-way focused (between feeding AvaMarie, distracting her, keeping her quite ,and getting up and going to the back when she decides to fuss)
Moms with multiple little kids HOW DO YOU DO IT???
I’m a wreck and I only have one! Seriously…I even had to chop my hair off because I wasn’t showering enough to maintain my long hair (shhhh)
After talking to other moms and reading more mom books/blogs…thankfully I’ve realized this is normal. New moms just can’t have the same prayer life they did before…at least not for a while. There is just too much CHAOS going on with all the newness of motherhood. Raising a baby for the first time is completely overwhelming and flat out exhausting. Most days are very blurry, and I have this “zombie-like” demeanor as I stumble around.
I actually don’t know how my brain can still function with the amount of sleep (or lack of sleep) I work off of. It’s almost an out of body experience…the days move so slowly, but yet it’s as if I’m going 100 miles an hour.
Being a new mom is very crazy season of one’s life. It is marked with absolute chaos and it’s filled with a whirlwind of emotions. But that is just it – it is just a season of life. It will not last. My prayer life will not always be this frazzled….and I cannot compare it to my pre-baby days (because that’s just not fair nor realistic!)
As long as I pray….
Even if it is prayers of desperation for my baby to stop crying, or brief thanks for short nap, as long as I pray, that is all God asks of me right now.
The great thing about motherhood is…I found that I am CONSTANTLY praying. They are not profound prayers, and I’m not meditating on deep biblical truths, but I’m in a constant communion with the Lord, and that is the most important thing. Especially during the season of early motherhood. Yes I’m usually crying out in desperation to just get by, but hey…as long as I’m crying out to God right??
My common prayers as of late are:
“Dear God, please, please, please let her sleep!”
“God, help me sleep while I can, she’s sleeping so let me sleep, pretty please!”
“Thank you for this little girl…she’s so beautiful”
“Please let her be a good baby for the sitter!”
“I forgot extra clothes! Dear God, please don’t let her poop explode today…please!!!”
“God, help me focus in mass, I’m trying, but please help me!”
“God, can you make her sleep a little longer…I really need to get this laundry done”
“Thank you for my healthy little girl!! If you could just give me as much energy as her, that would be fantastic!”
“Protect my baby girl while I’m gone…don’t let me worry too much”
“Help me keep my temper!”
and the ever popular:
“God, HELP! Help me get through this moment!”
Blessed John Paul II said, “How do you pray, you ask? This is simple. Pray however you like, so long as you do pray”.
So for this season of my life…I won’t get down that I’m not at the same spiritual level as I was during my pre-baby days…because I’m in a different season of my life. Right now, my short pleas and thanks to God are enough. This season will pass and I will be challenged in new ways, but right now I’m called to remain in communion with God as best I can….and He knows my heart, and He knows I’m trying my best, and He knows that is enough.